Faith Over Fear:

A Journey of Trust and Transformation

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Jeremiah 29:11

You know, I never imagined that the journey I’m on today would’ve started the way it did.

During the chaos of the pandemic, I found myself going through some of the toughest times of my life—losing both my grandparents to covid, becoming a single mother, going back to school… all while struggling just to keep everything afloat. It felt like my whole world was falling apart, and I didn’t have the tools nor the talent to fix it. Often times, while my son was asleep, I’d spend my free time crying out to… somebody. Something. Though my pleas felt like they fell on deaf ears, I just needed the release. See, at that point my life, I had no faith in anything but myself. All my life I’d been agnostic, believing that there was “something” but not committing to any single belief system. “How could anyone really ever know?” I reasoned. I was “logical” after all; at that point I was almost a decade into my engineering career, and logic was my crutch. “Better to play it safe.” I thought. I wasn’t a Christian, and I definitely didn’t know God. All my life I’d lived like I was alone. Like nobody was coming to save me, because nobody ever did - or at least, that’s what I thought.

I was accustomed to “saving myself” and this situation was no different. I spent hours wracking my brain, trying to figure it out, trying to control the situation as best as I could. Preemptively coming up with this plan and that plan, and backup plans to this plan, and backup plans to the back up plans… but I was in over my head. Overwhelmed is an understatement. I truly felt like I was at the end of my rope; at my wit’s end without an ounce of hope. But that would all change one day during one of my many solo “critical thinking sessions”. In the middle of my cries, I heard a whisper deep in my spirit say:

“Let go and let GOD.”

Huh? But what did that even mean? Honestly, I had no concept of what it meant to “let go”, let alone to “let GOD”. “Who is GOD? Where was He when I was a child, in need of comfort and support? Why should I trust Him?” But honestly, I was desperate and I was willing to try anything. That one decision to trust Him became a monumental turning point for me. After working out exactly what it truly meant to “let go and let GOD”, I started seeking Him intentionally—reading the Bible, watching sermons online (we were still in a pandemic, after all), finding a church home, getting saved, and making a conscious effort to deepen my relationship with Him. Slowly, though it wasn’t a smooth transition, I began to feel a peace I had never known before, and I realized I was on a journey of faith I just couldn’t turn away from. GOD had come through for me in ways and orchestrated outcomes that I could have never had fathomed, even if I spent my whole life deep in “logical” thought!

And for the first time in my life I felt like someone SAW me. It felt like someone other than me cared enough about me to make sure I was “good”. I realized that I didn’t have to do it alone anymore, and *actually* looking back over the course of my life I realized - I hadn’t been doing it alone at all. GOD was always there with me. All of those situations that I foolishly thought I’d masterminded; all of those things I chalked up to “good luck”… I realized it wasn’t me, or some esoteric concept of “luck”, but GOD. All of a sudden, the girl that shied away from labels, and needed irrefutable concrete evidence that she was indeed a fit for said label, was ready to accept the most important label of all:

Christian.

* * *

As I approached my 30th birthday, I hit a wall—an identity crisis that made me question everything. Who was I? Was I just my career? Where was I headed? I remember praying that day: on my birthday, standing alone at my kitchen counter with the red velvet birthday cake and the 2 accompanying red velvet cupcakes that I’d bought, adorned with the candles I’d lit, just asking God to shape me into the woman He wanted me to be; to lead me toward a life of purpose and fulfillment. Haha, I had no idea just how powerful of a prayer that was. That prayer set off a wave of changes—letting go of relationships that no longer served me, embracing the arduous process of discovering who I truly was in Christ, and carving out time for (sometimes quiet, sometimes chaotic-confused-ugly-crying) reflection with Him. It wasn’t easy; there were PLENTY a tear shed, and many a fear faced, but with each step I started to see with more clarity the woman I was becoming.

Then, in early 2024, I felt a strong nudge from the Lord that I just couldn’t ignore. I was quite *comfortably* employed in a corporate job: great pay, amazing benefits, substantial annual bonus and was literally a 10-minute drive! But…it was draining me. Every time I walked into that office it felt like a little piece of me died. I knew I needed to leave, but fear and comfort kept me holding on. “Maybe it’s all in my head,” I reasoned (there goes that “reasoning” again) “no way GOD would grant me this job and then ask me to leave.” I thought. For a year, I made excuses for why I should stay: financial stability, logistics, career growth… I even entertained the idea that I was just being ungrateful which made me dig my heels in even deeper, convinced I was the problem. But GOD kept calling me, planting this idea in my mind that I should leave and start something new—something that aligned with His purpose for my life. He spoke to me in a way that only He knew how, and I ceded. February of 2025, I put in my notice. I accepted that I had to trust Him completely. No tangible backup plans in sight aside from some funds I socked away, which I absolutely dreaded the thought of touching. Yeah, leaving that job wasn’t easy. But I bootstrapped my new venture, fighting through self-doubt and impostor syndrome, making mistakes, and learning as I went. Every challenge became a lesson, and each step strengthened my faith.

Today, Clarke’s Creations is still in its infancy. Though small in stature, it has made a HUGE impact on who I am in such a short timeframe! This emotional rollercoaster called entrepreneurship has taken me to incredible heights! and devastating lows. But I can honestly say, I can’t imagine it any other way. Every so often I entertain the idea of “going back”, and every time I come to the same conclusion: NO. This whole experience is teaching me what it truly looks like to trust God’s plan, and is paving the way for me to embrace the unknown. I no longer doubt my worth or what I’m capable of or the path I’m on; I walk forward with confidence, and the knowledge that He is in control. What started as a simple idea has grown into a journey for me that reflects His purpose in my life.

I truly believe that with faith, perseverance, and a willingness to step out in obedience, the best is yet to come. And honestly, I can’t wait to see what blessings (and lessons!) He has prepared for me.